An Epic, Tragic Love Story
by ArtisteFish
Summary: Lady Escargot Pudding wants nothing more than to find her 'special someone'. But the 'someone' they've picked and the 'someone' she wants are two different stories. She thought she could lead a double-life, but it seems the two sides are bound for a nasty collision. An AU based on the play in Episode 128.
1. Chapter 1

An Epic, Tragic Love Story

~Not to be taken too seriously~

* * *

Lady Escargot Pudding sighed once again as she stared out of her open veranda, resting her head in her hand with her arms against the wrought iron railing.

The gardens were exceptionally nice this balmy summer's day, with the white sun high overhead, and bees buzzing from flower to flower while butterflies flitted up to kiss lady Escargot's cheeks. She fluttered her eyes at them in return, and they scattered bashfully, sprinkling cotton-candy-colored dust in their wake.

But not even the lovely butterflies could fill the void that was eating her up inside. She had never had to worry about much while growing up - being a lady of high standing, with maids and servants and private tutors and whatnot, she was not used to the idea of 'wanting' something.

But now… she found herself feeling quite… in want.

Of what, she didn't know.

She stared out again over the gardens, searching for an answer - an inkling of something that could fill the hole in her heart and make her feel as whole and carefree as she used to.

A faint yapping met the refined lady's ears, and her eyes searched for the source of the insistent noise. Gazing out towards the edge of the garden, she noticed a little white dog bounding (as well it could on its short legs) down the flagstone path.

Lady Escargot wondered what it was the dog was after.

She got her answer a moment later when the dog came to a stop at the foot of a brick wall which bordered the garden and then, raising itself up with its paws against the bricks, started howling quite melodically to a small brown cat who was perched at the top.

The cat regarded the dog with amusement, batting its feline lashes towards the smitten pup.

Escargot watched intently at the wordless exchange between the coy feline and her would-be-suitor, rejoicing when the cat jumped down (still feigning disinterest) and rubbed languidly against the happy dogs face.

The animal duo walked together further down the path, and as the Lady watched, she felt something stir in her heart.

That cat had someone to come after her… she wanted someone to come after her too!

Someone to serenade her, to pine after her, to travel miles upon miles just to see her face….

She needed to be _needed_!

She needed her own 'dog'.

That was to say, she needed a man.

* * *

"Josephine! Where are you Josephine!"

Lady Escargot wandered into her cozy sitting room, waiting for her lady-in-waiting, Josephine. A warm fire crackled in the hearth, bleeding red and gold upon the lodge-style furnishings.

"Here I am, Lady Escargot." Her friend emerged from the other side of the room, trying to avoid stepping on the hem of her long green dress as she approached the Lady.

Escargot turned to her, hiding her uncertainty and embarrassment behind the fan she held.

"I know this may sound sudden… but I want to get married immediately. You'll find someone, won't you?"

Josephine only stared.

"Y…you what? I - I mean, yes milady, but don't you think that could wait until a little later?" Josephine said humbly, wondering what brought this strange mood on.

Sensing her friends trepidation at her request, Escargot raised her voice, using her confident tone to mask other less confident emotions she currently felt, saying "I beg your pardon Josephine, but do you refuse to obey me?"

Josephine's back went rigid, and with an evident stutter and obvious discomfort said "Oh, no Lady Escargot, I'll get on it right away - UWAAH!"

And tripping over her skirts, she made a hasty, albeit graceless, retreat from the room.

* * *

The air was sweet as fresh mint, the sun was low and cast its orange-marmalade hue on every surface it could reach, and the bees hovered over flowers on the bank of the river, trailing clouds of pollen that covered the plants like a sugar candy coating.

With a flick of her foot, Lady Escargot kicked a pebble into the peaceful river, sending it hurtling off to who knows where in the grasp of the current. Oh how she wished she could be like that little stone! Free to go wherever she wanted, do whatever she wanted, and no one would bother her about it. Her servants and handmaids were a little _too_ helpful sometimes.

She was really starting to regret her decision to get married, and was regretting even more involving her so-called friends in the matter!

They had found her a nice enough boy - Pierre Pannacotta was sweet and caring and all, but… that was really all there was to him. Sure, he was attractive, but only in the passive 'Oh look what a fine young man' sort of way.

And conversations with him were down-right dull.

There wasn't a mean bone in his body, and sometimes… sometimes Lady Escargot felt he was a little too kind - an angel making everyone around him look like demons.

But, well…. she really couldn't complain. Like it or not, he was the most eligible man she'd met.

It wasn't his fault that he didn't quite meet her ideals.

Not that she really knew what those were.

Escargot arose, deciding she'd had her fill of melancholy thinking for one day, and was about to turn and walk away when suddenly there was a rustling in the brush across the river.

She froze.

The noise was coming from a little farther down-stream than her, and in the fading light of day, she could just barely make out a slight shaking in the tall grass shrouded in shadows.

Acutely aware of just how alone she was, Lady Escargot made a hasty dive behind the twisted trunk of one of the trees lining the bank, and peered with morbid anticipation, knowing she should run but secretly aching for the adrenaline in her veins to continue.

She'd never really been in danger before - a lady such as herself didn't get out much - and it was… exciting!

Her body shaking but her eyes alert, Lady Escargot watched as a tall shadow moved closer to the bank. She saw a hand sweep aside the tall grass and shrubbery as a figure stepped into the sunlight, and -

Escargot's breath caught in her throat.

It was a man, but… not anything like any men she'd seen before! Silver hair billowed behind him, caught up in the breeze and shining like molten metal in the lowering rays of the sun. His outfit was blood red and looked Eastern - not the only tell-tale sign that he wasn't from around those parts. A sword hung at his waste, and he absently held onto the hilt, lazily resting his hand on it as though taunting trouble to come. His jaw was defined and his mouth set into a frown, and his eyes - oh his eyes! They shone like liquid gold and put the fiery sun to shame!

And just as Lady Escargot was getting lost in the wholly enchanting visage of this mysterious person, a sudden movement from the top of his head drew her attention, and her eyes bugged.

He had… dog ears.

It was unmistakable. Two little furry triangular dog ears sat atop his head, swiveling this way and that way, hearing everything.

Well, it was a good thing she had stopped breathing.

She suddenly found herself in no mood to attract the attention of this other-worldly being.

'I musn't move, I musn't move!' Escargot chanted this mantra to herself, trying to keep still while searching silently for an escape route.

'Maybe if I just back away… back into the bushes, and then run…. wait… he's moving - what's he doing? Oh… oh my….. oh _my_! OH NO!'

She watched as the handsome stranger pulled his sword out of his belt, setting it next to him on the ground, and then gawked as he started pulling off his outer shirt. Suddenly his other shirt was gone too, leaving his well-sculpted chest bare and beautiful, and then his hands were undoing the tie on his pants, and almost too late her brain caught up as she realized 'He's planning to bathe in the river!'

Instinctually she screamed and ducked and covered her eyes, not bothering to think that she had quite loudly given herself away.

The would-be-bather jumped, quickly re-tieing his belt and grabbing his sword from the ground.

"Who's there!?" His voice was loud and rough, and suddenly Escargot realized what danger she was in. Clamping a hand over her mouth, she moved into a crouch, preparing to spring away into the growing dark.

But it seemed that fate had other plans.

Just as she sprung, her foot caught on her voluminous skirt, and she completely lost her balance, falling backwards -

right into the river.

She screamed again, and the man on the other shore looked to her just in time to see her head disappear under the water as she was caught in the strong current.

Cursing loudly, he dove.

'Oh why did I come here today? Why did I stay so long? Why, why WHY?' These and many other such thoughts ran through the young lady's head as she was swept downriver. The water was rushing too fast for her to see, and anytime she reached out to try and grab onto something, she only succeeded in banging her arms and legs. Her last attempt left her with a sprained ankle and scraped fingers, and with despair, she realized her efforts to save herself were futile.

Oh if only she had someone to rescue her!

Her eyes closed, her world going dark, when suddenly something - no, somebody grabbed her waist, and she was being propelled upwards, clutched against someone.

Someone strong.

At once she felt the pressure of the water around her disappear, and she gasped, greedily sucking in air and coughing when she took too much.

She was thrown onto her back on the shore, grass tickling her hands and feet as she lay sprawled, her chest heaving and head spinning.

She probably could have laid there in a daze for hours, but her world was suddenly thrown back into focus as that harsh voice from before sounded to her right… very close by.

"Hey, just what the Hell were you doing? Trying to die?"

Her eyes sprung open, and slowly, cautiously, she turned her head towards the voice.

And there he was.

He sat next to her on the grass, dripping wet and breathing hard - despite his obvious strength, it seemed the current had been hard for him to beat too. His silver-white hair hung in heavy curtains off his back, some of it plastered to his chest and around his face, which was set into an angry scowl.

She couldn't help but flinch a bit at his expression.

"Who- who are you?"

The mystery boy reeled, looking affronted.

"Wha - HOW ABOUT A 'THANK YOU'?"

Lady Escargot recoiled slightly as he shouted at her - she wasn't used to such rude behavior!

And yet… in response to the fire in his voice, she felt a little bit of fire creeping into her as well.

"How can I thank you when I don't even know who you are or where you're from? For all I know, you could be a bandit or a vagabond, or some other disreputable type of person! And besides -" She sat up suddenly, pointing an accusing finger at the attractively glowering man in front of her, saying "it was your fault I fell in."

There was a moment of calm as her words sunk in, and then the storm.

"WHAT THE - MY FAULT?! I was minding my own business going to take a bath! YOU'RE the peeping tom who was invadin' my privacy! And it ain't _my_ fault you're wearing that stupid ball-gown there! What the heck are you doing wearing such a ridiculous piece of clothing in the forest? Waiting for a _prince_?"

He all but sneered the word, and she felt her blood boiling. Just who was this arrogant fool to say such things to a lady such as herself?

"Why? Consider _yourself_ one, do you? This forest doesn't have your name on it you know, nor is this river your personal bath! Why not just wash yourself at home, like decent folk do?"

His eyes narrowed and his mouth curved up into a dangerous smirk. "But you see," he said, in a low, gravelly, dangerous voice, "I'm not 'decent folk'. And besides," he paused, lifting a hand to examine his nails with disinterest, "since when has a demon had a home?"

He flexed his fingers, and the low rays of sun glinted off of - she gasped - claws! He smirked wickedly, and Lady Escargot only then noticed his sharp fangs. A Demon! She should have known!

Her whole body shaking, she backed away, her fear only rising as she realized how pointless it would be to try and run from him.

He stopped his little 'demonstration' as he saw the fear in her eyes spike, and with a heavy sigh he brought his hand to clench angrily in his hair.

"Look… I didn't mean - I'm not gonna hurt you, okay? I just saved your life!"

She didn't back away anymore, but she didn't reclaim her former spot near him either.

"Grrr, what is it you're so afraid of?"

She was surprised by that, and that only seemed to confuse the young man.

"Wha - well aren't you going to kill me? I mean… isn't that what demons usually do to humans?"

His gaze fell into something almost hurt-looking, and his fuzzy ears flattened back against his head. Lady Escargot had a sudden, almost irresistible urge to touch said ears, but she refrained.

He turned his gaze to the side, staring at the ground, and his soft response of "Not always" was almost carried away by the breeze before it ever reached her.

They sat there, the sun going ever lower on the horizon, the sky turning a delicious-looking plum, as a chorus of frogs and crickets began around them.

And then… then Lady Escargot Pudding found herself doing something that she couldn't quite explain, and couldn't understand no matter how many times she thought on it after the fact.

Crawling on her hands and knees, her pink and purple dress getting even more covered in grass and dirt and mud, she approached the young man… demon… and before he could even turn to face her, she had grasped one of his clawed hands in both of her dainty ones and looked him straight in his glowing golden eyes, saying with a tentative yet friendly smile "My name is Escargot Pudding - what's yours?"

He stared at her, his jaw slack, then stared at their hands, then back at her, then back at their hands, and she could have sworn there was a tinge of pink to his cheeks as he answered "Hannabart. Hannabart Pekkapon."

* * *

*Author's Note:

Remember, this is crack.

Don't let it get ya bent outta shape.

And don't read it unless you've watched episode 128 of Inuyasha. You're not gonna get it if you haven't watched that episode.

Of course I don't know why anyone wouldn't have watched that one – I know a lot of people don't like filler episodes, but that one is downright hilarious and fun, and I don't think it takes away from anything in the main storyline.

But whatevs.

There's more to this story – I plan to flesh it out to the 'Hojo vs Inuyasha confrontation' and beyond, so stay tuned! There will be parts here and there that are reminiscent of scenes from the 'actual play' in ep128, so keep an eye out for those, but the rest of it will be my own extrapolations on what I think a relationship between these two would be like, based on how Inuyasha and Kagome actually interact.

So…. It's AU, but it's still supposed to be 'in character'.

I'm tryin' anyways.

See y'all next time!


	2. Chapter 2

An Epic, Tragic Love Story, Chapter 2

~A rendezvous is set up~

* * *

"S-sooo… do you… come here often?"

It was a poor excuse for a conversation starter, but Lady Escargot had to say _something_ to distract herself from the chiseled pecs of her shirtless rescuer, which was all she could focus on as he carried her in his arms on their way back to the bank where they had first encountered one another.

Escargot wasn't one to judge too much by first impressions (people were full of surprises after all) but even she was shocked by the turns this meeting had taken.

First this handsome young man had appeared out of nowhere and spooked her into falling in the river, then he had jumped in to save her, after which he yelled at her foolishness and revealed himself to be a demon, and now she was nestled carefully in his arms getting a free ride on account of her sprained ankle and the many bumps and bruises covering her body.

Hannabart (as she had learned he was called) didn't even look down at her as he answered "I go wherever I want, whenever I want, and every place I go is just the same as any other. I may have been here before, maybe not. Don't care either way."

Escargot frowned and fidgeted with her hands, wondering how else to draw her would-be friend into conversation.

"Well, where are you from originally?"

She received another frustratingly vague answer as he replied "Back East", and she could feel her kind demeanor slipping away as her patience waned.

"So do you live with other demons?"

His expression darkened, and she wondered if she had asked something she shouldn't have.

"I… live alone."

"Sounds awfully lonely. Don't you have friends or relatives you could live with? I know _I_ wouldn't like being all alone…."

Hannabart rolled his eyes, saying exasperatedly "You sure do talk a lot. And I like living on my own just fine. Besides…" he looked decidedly in a direction opposite her face, "like I said, I'm not like other demons."

Escargot's mouth turned down to a confused frown, and she craned her neck a bit to try and read Hannabart's expression.

"What do you mean?"

He huffed and snapped "I'm just different - that's all."

But Escargot wasn't satisfied.

"You mean like how you saved my life instead of taking it? I'm deeply grateful to you for that difference! I wish more demons were like that!"

He scoffed, but continued "Yeah, well, most demons wouldn't consider that a strength. But it just comes with the territory of having weak blood like me."

Lady Escargot's confusion deepened as she parroted "Weak blood…?"

He slowed his pace a bit and looked down at her slightly, his expression guarded and analyzing.

She was afraid he wouldn't say anything more, but for some reason beyond her comprehension… he opened up.

"It's because… I'm a half-demon. Part of my blood is human."

He was watching her reactions intently, but whatever he was searching for, he hadn't been prepared for what he saw.

Her eyes widened as she examined him more closely, and a jubilant smile appeared on her face as she said "Really? Well that explains the adorable ears and your surprising kindness!"

Hannabart flinched as if he'd been struck.

"WHA - ADORABLE EARS? They're - they're the mark of a great Dog Demon! And what kindness - I ain't kind! I'm powerful and awe-inspiring!"

'And arrogant. But… he seems to have a good heart.' she thought, smiling slightly at his haughty expression and upturned nose.

"So tell me, 'Oh Great Dog Demon," he gave her a withering look, but she just smiled wider and continued "would you be off on any terrible conquests tomorrow noon?"

He eyed her suspiciously and asked "Why?"

Escargot's smile became somewhat mischievous as she said in a wilting voice "because tomorrow at noon I shall have lunch in the wood groves, and with so many terrifying demons such as yourself out and about, I would feel much safer if you, who most certainly are more powerful than they all, would join me for a meal and grace me with your company."

Hannabart's eyes widened, and he stared down at Escargot with a child-like wonder.

Escargot felt her heart flutter a little, and wondered if this were the first time that someone had invited this half-demon boy to eat lunch with them.

As though suddenly aware of his own surprise, Hannabart schooled his features back into a scowl, but a smirk turned up his lip as he snidely remarked "Laying it on a bit thick, aren't ya?"

She giggled slightly, and boldly linked her arms around his neck as he held her, turning his face a very bright red.

"Just pandering to your ego."

At that his face reddened more.

"WHAT EGO?!"

By the time they reached their destination it was already dark.

Escargot's ankle was feeling much better – it hadn't been too badly sprained, after all - but in the growing dark, the young Lady's anxiety peaked.

"Uh… Hannabart… wait."

The young man looked up at her, just finishing hooking his sword to his belt, shirts properly back in place, and responded with a surprisingly concerned tone.

"What is it?"

"Well… you're not going to leave yet, are you?"

He stared at her for a minute, and scratching his head said "I guess I can't let you walk home on your own… if you're dumb enough to fall in a river in broad daylight, who knows what kind of trouble you'll get into when it's dark out!"

Her eye twitched in anger, but she decided it was better to just take the offered help instead of argue over the manner of its offering.

And before she could even get out a 'thank you', Hannabart had swooped her up into his arms again and took off for her Estate.

* * *

"Alright my Lady, spill it!"

Escargot paused in her hair-brushing, looking away from her vanity mirror and turning her attention to her friend and vassal Josephine.

"Whatever do you mean?"

Josephine rolled her eyes and approached the lady, her hands on her hips and her face determined.

"Come on, My Lady, you've been in a strange mood all morning! You keep humming and sighing and looking dazed! Don't tell me -" She grinned conspiratorially and wiggled her eyebrows "You're in love with Pierre, aren't you?"

"What!?" Escargot flushed and stared at her friend.

"HA! I knew you two would be perfect for each other!"

"N-no! You've got it all wrong! I mean, Pierre is wonderful and all, but… he was actually the furthest thing from my mind!"

Josephine paused in her triumphant cheering and stared at Escargot.

"Wha- then what on Earth were you thinking about? WHO were you thinking about? You can't tell me there's nothing on your mind!"

For a moment, Escargot wondered if she should tell Josephine… if she should confide in her friend about her meeting Hannabart, and about how he had saved her, and about how she was going to see him again… but the thought of what her friend would say, rightly concerned about her safety, in response to the idea of a Lady such as herself meeting for lunch with a demon, half or not…. in the end, she decided against it.

"Oh it's nothing, really! It's a lovely day out! Isn't that enough?"

Josephine stared her down, not believing a word of it, but eventually she gave in, sighing and saying to her friend, "I guess. But if there's something going on… you'll tell me, won't you?"

Escargot turned hastily back to her vanity mirror, absently brushing her hair as she tried to respond in her most inconspicuous voice, "Of course Josephine! I woudn't keep things from my friends!"

Her own words echoed a long while after in her head like a ticking time bomb.

* * *

*AN: Yeah, I'm still working on this one.

This chapter has been done for a while, just needed to write a few more sentences. lol took me long enough

Next time: -So, do you wanna court me, or... oh wait, I'm already spoken for. Heck darn.


	3. Chapter 3

An Epic, Tragic Love Story, Chapter Three

~A Picnic full of Questions~

* * *

The wood groves were drawing nearer and nearer, and Escargot was _really_ starting to feel foolish.

Here she was, a lady of high-standing, wearing one of her loveliest day dresses in mint green and sporting a well-stocked picnic basket, walking with a bit of a skip in her step off to a rendezvous with a demon she had only just met yesterday.

Well, a half-demon.

But still.

Her skipping faltered as she recalled the morning's conversation she had with Josephine, during which she flat out lied to her dear friend and failed to confide in her what had happened in her life recently. It couldn't be helped though – her friend just wouldn't understand without having met Hanabart, and _she_ wasn't sure she understood it all _herself_!

Ducking under the thick canopy of leaves at the edge of the wood, Escargot scanned the tree-line for an open space to set out a blanket. Coming upon a small but well-lit clearing, she unfolded the finely woven cotton sheet and laid it down carefully, noticing for the first time that it seemed rather small for almost-strangers to share.

'Well… it can't be helped. Perhaps he won't even notice…' she thought to herself, placing the basket on the sheet and plopping herself down with less ceremony than was befitting a lady.

'And now we wait….'

She knew she had arrived early – the sun was still relatively low in the sky – but she had supposed earlier was better than later and risking him showing up and thinking she had backed out. But as the sun crept higher in the sky, and the shadows ever shorter, Escargot couldn't help but think that maybe _he_ had been the one to back out on _her_.

Seconds turned to minutes and minutes became an hour, and still Escargot sat on her blanket, picking absently at the grass beside her and shooing away the flies that buzzed around the basket, trying valiantly to get to the fresh breads and cheeses.

After two hours came and went, Escargot was ready to cry.

What had she been thinking? He had saved her from her own clumsiness, and now she expected them to be best friends? It had been reckless of her to invite him to lunch, but it was even more foolish of her to expect he would show up.

Heaving a very mournful sigh, Escargot stood, brushed off her skirts, and reached down to pick up the basket of food which she would just have to eat on her own.

Locked in her room.

With the curtains drawn and with extra pocket handkerchiefs.

Her melancholy mood took a sudden turn when a figure dropped from the trees with a thud right in front of her, eliciting a very unladylike scream from the girl.

She quickly stopped however as her eyes registered Hanabart clutching his dog-ears tightly with a pained grimace on his face.

"Geez, woman! You tryna make me go deaf?"

"Uhh…." Standing there now with her frilly dress and her basket of expensive food and an embarrassed blush on her face, Escargot was seriously rethinking all of her actions of the past twenty four hours. Was she really ready for this? What was she supposed to say and do now that he was actually here?

"I uh… sorry. But that's not usually the way one announces their presence."

He scoffed, still rubbing slightly at an ear as he said roughly "Like I care about 'the usual way'. Who do I got to impress?"

She raised an elegant eyebrow, thinking with amusement 'certainly not me it seems' but she couldn't help but smile at his openness. Such blunt honesty was unusual, but… surprisingly refreshing. She could get used to it.

"Well?" He said tersely, after a moment of quiet, "We gonna eat or is that basket just for show?"

Escargot squeaked as she remembered her cargo, and she hastily reset the blanket, fussing over the corners in her anxiousness. Was she really doing this? Sharing a meal with a man she barely knew, out in the woods with no chaperones or ladies-in-waiting or guards? She could hardly believe herself, but she couldn't say she regretted it, especially as Hanabart sat himself on the blanket with a casual, easy-going attitude and started rifling through the food.

Biting her lip to hide her smile, Escargot sat beside him, smoothing down her skirts and trying to pretend that she wasn't sitting just a little too close, even as a fold of her pale green dress brushed his fiery red clothing.

He examined each of the items she had brought with guarded interest, scrutinizing with his eyes and sniffing the foods persistently. She found her anxiety building as she watched him judge her offerings, and couldn't help a sigh of relief as he finally took a bite of the fresh bread she had baked and hummed appreciatively.

They ate in silence for a while (relative silence in Hanabart's case), enjoying the warmth from the late afternoon sun and the melodic bird song. Setting aside the apple she had been munching at, Escargot cleared her throat and said hesitantly "So… how have you been?"

Hanabart looked at her with an arched eyebrow, swallowing his mouthful of food before answering tersely "What, since yesterday?"

"Well, yes" Escargot responded, looking intently into his confused face as she continued "Did you do anything of interest this morning?"

The look he gave her was almost cautious as he said in a low voice "No… I came to meet you."

"I mean before that."

"… I didn't do anything before that."

Escargot tried to hide her frown but couldn't. Why was he clamming up? It wasn't as if she meant to interrogate him. It was a simple, friendly question! The friendly aspect was vanishing quickly though as her irritation grew, and she said angrily "Well you must have done something, seeing as how it took you so long to get here!"

At that Hanabart looked away, fiddling with a block of cheese in his hand, slicing pieces off with his claws in an almost nervous manner. "I was here."

Lady Escargot paused as his curt statement sank in. He couldn't mean… it couldn't possibly be that….

"Do you mean to tell me you've been here the whole time? Doing what – watching me?"

He didn't move for a moment, didn't even look at her, but then his head dipped in an affirmative and guilty 'yes'.

The silence in the clearing was suddenly thick and heavy, and Hanabart was doing a valiant job of pretending not to notice the livid glare Escargot was sending his way. 'He can't just ignore me!' she railed in her mind 'I'll get answers from him yet!'

"Why? Why would you do that? Why couldn't you just tell me you were here instead of making me wait for hours?"

"It's not like anything happened to you. You were perfectly safe." Hanabart finished his vague explanation with a satisfied nod, apparently thinking the discussion over.

They were far from finished though. "Safe? What do you mean safe? Why wouldn't I be safe?! But that's beside the point – you still haven't answered me! What on earth kept you from joining me for so long?"

Hanabart growled in annoyance, snapping out "Well did you really expect me to just waltz into a meeting with a human when it coulda been some kind of trap? I had to check things out first… you know… to make sure you were… telling the truth."

Escargot resisted the urge to snap back, noticing the half-demon's unease. Even though it upset her to think he hadn't trusted her at first, she realized it didn't matter what he had thought in the beginning – after all, he was here with her now.

"I see… but still, did you really have to wait to so long?" Her pleading gaze sought out his, but he still couldn't seem to meet her eyes. "I didn't know if you were still coming, or if you'd come and gone, or if something had happened to you… I was really worried you know!"

The startled gaze he turned to her caught her off guard, and for a moment she forgot her anger with him at his stunned look.

"You were worried about me?"

His incredulous tone was disconcerting. What was so strange about her worrying? They had agreed to meet, had they not? And he hadn't shown up! It was only natural that she'd worry… wasn't it?

Before she could get a word out he scoffed, smiling ruefully and saying softly "You're a weird one, you know that? What kind of royal lady worries herself over a half demon she just met?"

Escargot blushed, unable to find an answer. What kind of lady indeed? The more she thought on it, the more she realized he was right. It _was_ strange for someone like her to even be talking with someone of demon blood, let alone making dates and sharing meals. There was really no good explanation for it, except-

"I like you."

Hanabart whipped his head to face her so fast she didn't even see it, his tan cheeks turning lobster red as he sputtered "W-wh-what?!"

Fumbling with a ribbon on her dress, Escargot fought to get her nerves back under control as she said "I mean it. I know we've only just met… but I like you. You're fun to talk to, you're honest, and even though you can be kind of frustrating… you're a very interesting person, Hanabart!"

Escargot dared a glance at the now silent Hanabart's face only to see he'd turned away again, his eyes glancing back and forth across the blanket beneath them, unable to focus on anything for very long. She leaned forward to meet his gaze, but he only looked away more forcefully. "Hanabart? … I'm sorry. I didn't offend you, did I?"

The look he sent her was disbelieving, the emotion winning out over his embarrassment as he responded "Why the hell would I be offended by that? Unless… you didn't mean it."

"Of course I meant it!" Escargot's adamant words were punctuated by her leaning forward to grasp his hand, causing Hanabart to back away in surprise. "In fact, if it's alright with you… I'd like to get to know you better."

He didn't respond – or couldn't – his mouth gaping like a fish out of water, his posture stiff. His hand which was clasped in hers was growing clammy, but she resolutely held on.

Escargot bit her lip, waiting in agony for him to respond, and finally her patience was rewarded with a resounding "ARE YOU CRAZY?!"

She recoiled as if she'd been slapped, her hands releasing his and clasping over her heart, eyes wide at his apparent rejection. Sure it was a little unorthodox of her, but… did he have to be so rude?

"Are you saying you'd really want to get to know a _half-demon_ better? _Me_?"

"I…" her voice caught in her throat, but she swallowed her pride and plowed on "That's what I said, wasn't it? Do… do you want to know me too?"

Hanabart stared at her with unreadable eyes, and Escargot met his look with determination. On one hand she couldn't believe her own boldness, but on the other… she just couldn't take the risk of someone who made her feel so much disappearing from her life. 'Please… please don't say no….'

"Uh… Escargot Pudding," Hanabart began, his attitude stiff and formal.

The flutter Escargot felt at hearing her name from his lips was tempered by the detached tone with which he said it, and she wasn't sure she was ready to hear the rest of his words.

"I uh… if it's not too weird… I mean… too forward, would you mind if I… I mean could we maybe… would you… wanna…."

He paused in his stream of words to swallow noisily, but as he looked at Lady Escargot something changed in his eyes. Whether it was confidence or nerve or just fool-hardiness she couldn't be sure, but suddenly he burst out "Can I court you?"

She could almost feel her happiness bubbling up in her like a pot boiling over, and before she could think twice found herself responding emphatically "Yes please!"

They both sat in stunned silence for a moment, neither able to believe what the other had said. Hanabart was the first to break, his mouth quirking into a smirk and an eyebrow arching as he repeated with avid amusement "_Please_?"

Escargot's face erupted in a crimson plume as she realized how pathetically _desperate_ she must have sounded, but… she couldn't find it in her to take it back. "Well, the offer still stands, right?"

His smile widened, pleased to find she had really meant it, and he shrugged in a carefree manner saying "Sure, if you want it so bad."

She caught the teasing note in his voice, and couldn't resist a flustered "Oh be quiet, you!" before she had to look away and clasp a hand to her mouth to hold in her girlish giggling.

They sat and talked for a while more, both wearing matching grins at the turn their day had taken, and all too soon Escargot found herself saying goodbye to Hanabart at the edge of the wood groves.

Before she could step away though he grasped her hand, and she turned back to him expectantly. He seemed nervous, gripping her hand tightly and lifting it jerkily to his mouth, and Escargot gasped at the feel of his lips brushing the back of her hand in a feather-light kiss.

Dropping her hand almost instantly he blushed and turned away, mumbling quietly "I've seen lots of gents do that… never done it myself, but… seemed like the right time to try."

Cradling her hand to her own mouth, Escargot smiled brightly and said a little too quickly "I don't mind."

Hanabart looked back at her with a soft smile, saying simply "Till tomorrow then" before turning and leaping away into the tree-tops. Escargot peered with fascination into the foliage to try and watch him go, but he was too fast and too quiet for her to track. With a smile of her own she turned away, walking back to her dismal cage-of-a-mansion, thinking only of her new suitor and the wonderful afternoon she'd spent with him.

It wasn't until the evening meal, when her mother casually mentioned the upcoming arrival of Pierre Panacotta, that Escargot's remembered she already _had_ a suitor. The elated mood she'd carried all afternoon popped completely as she remembered another very important fact: that she and Pierre were engaged to be married in only one month's time.

* * *

*Author's Note:

Next time: How will Escargot break the news, and how will Hanabart take it? Well, if you remember who Hanabart actually is, you can guess it's not going to go over well...


	4. Chapter 4

An Epic, Tragic Love Story, Chapter Four

~Going For a Ride~

* * *

"And where are you running off to, young lady?"

Escargot froze, one foot planted daintily over the threshold of the mansion door, the other still anchoring her to the room and her duties. Putting on what she hoped was a convincing smile, the royal girl turned back to her stately mother and said lightly "Well it's such a lovely day, I thought I'd take a walk in the woods!"

"You took one yesterday" her mother started calmly, her arms folding over the bodice of her elegant yet simple gown, "and you didn't return until the sun had nearly set."

Laughing in an all too incriminating manner, Escargot Pudding responded quickly "Oh, you know how fast time flies when you're out for a walk! I mean, it's so hard to see the sun through the trees, and –"

"Escargot" her mother interrupted, and though her voice was stern, she wore a light smile "It doesn't matter to me what you do in the woods or how long you're out, but I ask you that today of all days you'd not go." At the sudden sad look in her daughter's eye her voice softened as she hurried to explain "Pierre is arriving today, and we all need to be here to greet him when he comes! You especially, since _you're_ the one he'll be marrying. It _was_ your idea, after all."

Escargot looked away quickly, worried that her mother had caught her eye-roll that had accompanied the mention of Pierre's name. Sure it had been her idea to get married… but she hadn't chosen to marry _him_. Shifting imperceptibly onto the outside porch, Escargot said in as reassuring a voice as she could "Mother, don't worry! I won't be gone long! A couple hours at most! I'm sure Pierre and his family aren't leaving until late in the morning anyways, and it'll take some time for them to get here. Even if I came back at sundown again, I'd probably arrive before he did!"

Despite the victorious smile she wore at the infallibility of her own argument, her mother was unconvinced. "Yes, and when you come back at sundown to greet Pierre with dirt on your dress and leaves in your hair, I'm sure you'll make a wonderful impression on the royal family. Don't forget, he is a prince."

Lady Escargot paused mid-frustrated-sigh as her mother's words sunk in, and suddenly she felt the growing heat of anger burning in her, a scowl starting to quirk her mouth. With a resolute step that left no room for debate, she picked up her skirts and walked fully onto the porch, turning back to her mother with bright eyes and saying stiffly "If Pierre can't handle a little dirt and some leaves, then maybe he'd better go look somewhere else for a wife." And without another word she stormed huffily away, never noticing the smile and approving look in her mother's eyes as she watched the young girl go.

* * *

Frown still firmly in place, Escargot stomped her way into the forest, making quite the racket as she went and not bothering to keep track of her path. She wasn't so much mad at her mother as she was at herself. Of course it had been hasty of her to demand marriage arrangements, but she hadn't thought it would get so out of her control! She had wanted options and company and something new; what she got was an arranged marriage with a man she didn't actually want. Not to mention… a secret relationship with another man she shouldn't really have been meeting with. There was nothing inherently bad about Hanabart, aside from some demon blood which Escargot didn't mind in the least, but he wasn't exactly the type of man a lady such as herself could take back home to mother and parade around with. No matter how much she wanted to.

A heavy sigh escaped the young lady as she plowed on through the undergrowth; she had gotten herself in this mess, and now she didn't know how to dig herself out of it.

"What's your problem?"

Escargot shrieked and stopped abruptly at the sudden voice beside her, turning to see Hanabart's handsome face scrunched into a grimace. "Damn, is this gonna become a regular thing with you?"

"Hanabart!" She gasped, a hand over her racing heart and pulse still throbbing from the scare, "I- I'm sorry! How long have you been here?"

His grimace turned to a cocky smirk as he looked down at her and said "A few minutes now. I've been walking beside you for a while, but you didn't notice. What you stewin' over anyways?"

Escargot couldn't respond at first. A few minutes? He'd been beside her and she hadn't noticed at all? 'Must be his demon abilities' she mused, more intrigued than anything. He was quite the skilled hunter.

"Well?" He said sharply, cutting her from her daze as she looked to see him with his arms crossed impatiently, "You gonna tell me what's wrong? Shouldn't I, uh… help with that kinda stuff now?"

For a moment she just stared at him some more, wondering at his deep blush, but then their conversation from the previous afternoon filled her head, and she remembered his words as if he'd just spoken them: 'Can I court you?' Suddenly her face bloomed red as well, and her gaze fell to her fidgeting hands as she said "I-it's nothing. Just some silly argument I had with my mother."

"You shouldn't argue with your mother." His voice was so soft yet so heavy all at once that it made her look up to meet his serious golden gaze. "You're lucky to have a mother" he continued, and suddenly Escargot felt like a fool. She didn't know what it was he'd gone through, but she had clearly upset him with her flippant remarks.

"You're right" she said earnestly, hoping he could see her sincerity "I don't like to argue with her. I do love her very much… I'll apologize when I go back."

He nodded with a smile, and for a moment just stood looking at her, not saying a word. She waited for him to speak first, but after a few minutes all he said was a simple "Hi."

A giddy smile broke Escargot's patient stare, and she giggled slightly, responding "Some hello!"

Hanabart's expression turned sheepish as he smiled back, a clawed finger scratching at his cheek as he said "I ain't very good with this 'formal' stuff. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."

"Well first of all" Escargot responded with mock seriousness, reaching out and grabbing his hand forcefully "_don't_ be formal. If there's one thing I've had enough of, it's doing things the way they've been planned. I'm more than ready for some spontaneity!"

She was surprised to hear Hanabart laugh lightly at her words, and he met her gaze with his eyebrows cocked in a curious expression. "So does that mean you wouldn't be up for something _I'd_ planned?"

Her surprise was evident as she parroted "Planned? You mean you planned something for us to do?"

"Sure! I mean, it's not anything fancy, and it might be asking a little much," he trailed off, his voice getting more unsure and unsteady as he went as his courage slipped. Escargot caught his rising anxiety over whatever he had wanted to do and said in a firm and reassuring voice "Whatever you planned to do today, I'd love to. I trust you!"

His responding look of surprise set off a burst of colors in her mind's eye, and Escargot Pudding found she didn't really care what he had planned, so long as she got to spend time with him. "In that case…" he continued, sounding a little more sure of himself, "how'd you like to go for a ride?"

"Really?" she said, a bit surprised and a bit disappointed at such a mundane activity. It was just the kind of thing she would expect Pierre to ask of her. "That sounds nice" she replied in a polite and unenthusiastic tone that she had up to this point not had to use on him, "so where are you keeping the horses? Do we have to go hunt some down?"

"Horses?" He copied in a very confused and slightly offended tone, "Why the hell would we need horses?" Now it was Escargot's turn to be confused as she answered "Well what else are we going to ride? Do you have a carriage that pulls itself?"

Scoffing and folding his arms, Hanabart responded gruffly "Geez, is that the only way you people get around? Who needs a horse or a carriage? They'd just get in the way! I meant I'd carry you!"

Escargot was sure her eyebrows shot high enough to meet her crown as she registered what he'd said. "Carry?! Carry how?"

"On my back!" He replied, as if it were the most obvious answer and one he shouldn't have even had to explain. "How else am I gonna get us above the tree line and over the river and such?"

'Over the river… above the trees….' The idea of a piggy-back ride had seemed silly at first, but the more Escargot thought about it, the more she realized what he was really offering: freedom. She'd never been very far in these woods, and certainly never crossed the river. She'd tried to climb the trees when she was a young girl, but her advisors had put a quick end to that. But he could climb a tree with her. He could take her across the river. They could scale mountains, cross deserts, dive into waterfalls and leap canyons, and he'd never tell her she shouldn't do those things as a lady.

And suddenly it occurred to her just why she liked being around him so much: she wasn't 'a lady' to him, she was just 'Escargot'. She was herself.

Giving him her most dazzling smile, she swung the hand she still held happily and said "I'd love to go for a ride with you!" The crooked grin he sent back warmed her heart, and as he turned and knelt on the ground for her to climb onto his back, she found she couldn't get off the ground fast enough.

And thanks to her skirts, she almost couldn't.

There was an awkward scramble as she tried to grip his sides with her legs through the layers of chiffon and silk, and he fumbled a bit trying to find where her legs began and her skirt hoops ended. She could almost feel his frustration building, and it was almost enough to match hers. Heaving an exasperated sigh, Hanabart let go of her and stood, turning his unhappy gaze on her as he said morosely "You want I should take you back to your place so you can change, or should we just call it off?"

Escargot wouldn't have any of that. She was _not_ going back to her stuffy home to change out of her stuffy clothes because her stuffy lady in waiting had decided to put her in the stuffiest dress in her closet to meet the prince who, while nice, was stuffiest of all. And she _most certainly_ was not going to miss this opportunity to explore. Growling angrily and stepping back to put some room between her and her would-be-ride, Escargot reached behind her to the laces on her dress and began to pull insistently.

Hanabart watched her in confusion as she groped behind her back, not quite getting what she was up to; that is until with a triumphant laugh she loosened the dress enough to shrug out of it, letting it fall in a heavy heap onto the dirt and leaves of the forest floor. It took Hanabart a moment to register the sight of her soft white undershirt, pantaloons and corset before it occurred to him that he was, indeed, staring at the girl he was courting in naught but her underwear. Face redder than a ripe tomato, Hanabart turned around abruptly and bellowed "ARE YOU CRAZY? PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!"

"I _am_ wearing clothes, thank you" Escargot responded tersely, "and it's going to be a heck of a lot easier to carry me without that frilly mess of fabric in the way." Daring a glance back at the girl at the realization that he wouldn't be slapped for it, Hanabart responded hesitantly "You sure you're okay with that?" Rolling her eyes and crossing her arms over her corset-covered chest, Escargot said brusquely "Honestly! I wouldn't have done that if I wasn't okay with it!" Her own cheeks colored a bit as she noticed his eyes roving over her, and she shrunk back in embarrassment, her voice squeaking slightly as she said "You're just making it worse by over-reacting! Now please, just carry me and let's get going!"

She feared he would refuse, but after a moment his breathing evened out and his eyes lost their 'deer-on-the-hunt' look as he thought it over. Finally he nodded, saying in an even tone "Right. Hop on." And as he turned and knelt again, Escargot did just that, happily linking her arms around his neck as his hands found easy purchase on her cotton-clad thighs. Both froze for a moment, the close contact wholly new, but as neither found it… unpleasant, neither made mention of it.

Hiking her up slightly higher on his back, Hanabart said a quick "Hold on" before coiling down and springing straight up into the canopy, redirecting slightly to land on a sturdy branch nearby. Escargot used the moment after their landing to catch her breath, her heart already going wild as her body tried to right itself after such a move. He didn't give her much time to catch up to herself though before he was off again, bounding over the tree tops towards the deeper parts of the forest. Escargot found she hardly had breath to laugh as they jumped and leaped and flew through the air; but that was alright. She'd find her breath later.

* * *

"Are you sure it's this way?"

Escargot followed nervously after Hanabart whose nose was to the ground as he sniffed over the forest floor. "I _would_ be sure if you'd stop distracting me. Now shut up and let me concentrate!"

She resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she clasped her arms around herself. It may have been the middle of summer, but it still got cold in the forest after the sun went down. Escargot cast longing eyes at the last rays of sunlight still seeping into the sky; it would be dark by the time she got back, and even harder to make up with her mother. No doubt she would miss Pierre's grand entrance, but that was alright with her. She wouldn't have traded this afternoon for anything.

Still… "Have you found it yet?"

The half-demon sniffing the dirt growled, turning his head slightly to glare up at her as he bit out "Unless you plan on helping, would you kindly butt-out? It wasn't _my_ idea to leave your dress in the middle of the woods."

Temper rising at his ire but not wanting to ruin her mood, Escargot looked away with a huff, though the action was undermined by a violent shiver that ran through her at the cold on her arms.

"Here." Confused at the sudden softness of his voice, Escargot turned back to see her vision filled with red, and beyond that saw Hanabart looking away, his arm outstretched to offer her his red outer-shirt. A small smile growing on her lips, Escargot took the proffered coat with a grateful "thank you" and quickly wrapped it around herself, burrowing into it and inhaling deeply of the woodsy smell it held.

Her cheeks grew warm to realize that it was almost like a hug.

By the time they did finally find her discarded gown, she couldn't help but be disappointed. She would much rather wear his shirt, though she didn't have the nerve to tell him. Awkwardly redressing (and even more awkwardly having Hanabart help lace the dress back in place) Escargot let her half-demon suitor lead her back to the edge of the wood for their goodbyes.

In a replay of the previous day's events, Hanabart once again took hold of her hand to kiss the back of it; but Escargot had other ideas. She pulled out of his grip and before he could react she threw her arms around him, hugging him tightly and burrowing into his chest, once again feeling the cloth of his red shirt and smelling the forest all over him. He froze at her sudden movement, but it was only a few seconds before he reached around to hold onto her as well. They stayed in that embrace, neither one wanting to let go, until finally Escargot pulled back with a sigh.

"I don't know when I'll see you tomorrow" she said softly, not wanting to relinquish his body heat but knowing if she didn't now, she never would. "After this, I'm not sure my mother will even let me leave the grounds."

"Then I'll come to you." His voice was so firm and unwavering that Escargot forgot to protest, only able to nod mutely as he continued in a heavier tone "Don't worry – I won't let anyone see me."

Then he was gone, and Escargot found herself wishing she could go with him instead of back to the mansion, back to her fiancé, and back to all her troubles.

* * *

*Author's Note:

This came outta nowhere. Hopefully that means new chapters to my other fics will come outta nowhere too :P

anyways, I was gonna include Pierre/Hojo in this one, but as it is he's getting bumped to next chapter. Not like anyone is really reading this for him. Hojo is a sweetheart, but he ain't the leading man.

Anyhow, huge thank you to those who are reading/following this, and especially to those who have taken the time to review! It means a lot to me! :D Hopefully I'll see you soon, and hopefully soon we'll get to that wonderful Hanabart/Pierre confrontation that happened in the episode! ;)


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